The Jackson Boys

Here are my boys. They are so much fun.

Finn (2) & Jazz (6)

Opinions - They're JUST Opinions People!

Opinion: belief stronger than impression and less strong than positive knowledge.

I don't understand why this word seems to be a four letter word to a lot of people. I find it interesting (maddening) that people get offended by opinions. Why is that? It's simply someone's point of view. It is not directed at you as an individual and it does not mean that the person won't change their mind.

In my frustration this morning, I asked my girlfriend that very same question. She's one of those people who generally has a different view from mine, so I find it fascinating to bounce ideas off her. Her answer was that a lot of opinions are based on a person's core beliefs, and many times, people are willing to die for those beliefs, so opinions can be viewed as something volatile (I am paraphrasing here). I was quite taken aback by that answer, because I'd never seen it from that point of view before. Probably because my opinions are rarely (I cannot, in all honesty, say "never") based on a core belief, they're just an opinion.

My husband and I are both opinionated people. Shocker! We have no problem sharing our opinions with the world. We have had long, animated debates with our friends, and each other, about what we think about (insert topic here). I mean, we have an opinion on almost everything (especially music). BUT, it's just our opinion! We are not stating fact, we are not attempting to make anyone agree with us, we are simply stating our opinion. We are also the type of people who are flexible in that opinion. If someone argues their point of view, we might actually decide we like their opinion better. We don't get offended that their opinion differs from ours. Well, almost. I mean, if you tried to argue that Britney Spears is a true talent, we may have to lock you in the broom closet, but otherwise, we're pretty easy-going.

So, people, please help us out here. If someone is stating an opinion, and you start to feel offended. STOP. Obviously, you have a different opinion, which means you need to accept the other person's view regardless of if you agree. It doesn't mean they are right or wrong, and it doesn't mean they hate you, it just means they disagree with you.

Build a bridge people -- and get over it.

Equality - It Might be a Dirty Word

Equal ≠ Same
Submission ≠ Subservience

There’s a problem in the world at the moment with how men and women interact. The problem is that there are no longer roles. The pendulum has swung so far over and has yet to come back to the middle. It’s no wonder marriages are failing at an ever-rapid pace. Marriage needs to be brought back to the way it was set up to begin with.

Ephesians 5:22-33 is a remarkable guide to what a marriage is supposed to be, yet I am continually amazed at how many people misinterpret those scriptures. I was “young” when I got married (if you consider 24 young), and not surprisingly I had it all wrong. My husband was even younger. However, at 21, he knew exactly what he was doing when he married me, knew the true meaning of marriage and helped to explain it to me. Incredibly, he didn’t shoot me while I was coming to terms with the “word” (shh...don’t say it out loud...you know, “submission”). I had been living in a part of the world where men were (and still are) total and complete chauvinists (my mom is probably sitting there right now grumbling – she still lives there and whole-heartedly disagrees with me). I vowed that I would marry an American, and my wonderful man got to experience the baggage of that decision. He’s SO luckeeee!

At that time in my life, the thought of submitting to my husband – well, any man really – filled me with an indignation of sorts. Ah, but God is faithful – and somewhat of a comedian.

Below is the scripture in Ephesions and my interpretation.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 Even so husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no man ever hates his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." 32 This mystery is a profound one, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church; 33 however, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Ok, girls. Read very carefully. Your husband has to LOVE you as Christ loved the church. Do you know how much that is? It’s more than any of us deserve. He is called to love us when we are on the rampage, in a tizzy, mad at the world, fat, skinny, PMSing and in general, unlovable.

He is also responsible for the actions of his entire family. Yes, even you. Of course, we have our relationship with Christ, and he will speak to us, discipline us, love us individually, but keep in mind, if we decide to sin, not only does he look to us for repentance, but he looks to our husband as well. Kind of like, “dude, why did she do that”? He is responsible not only for his actions, but also for yours and your children’s. Kind of heavy, don’t you think?

All we have to do is submit.

This does not mean lie down and take abuse. For me, it means, when we are at an impasse of a decision, or disagree on something with no foreseeable resolution, he gets the final word. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am a strong-willed person, and there have been many a knock-down drag out on a bevy of subjects. But I have noticed that in the times I refuse to submit, the whole thing caves in, and I have to go back to my husband and apologize, not because he was necessarily right, but because I did not respect him. What’s worse, is that he is not the one prompting me to apologize, God is. I don’t know about you, but I HATE feeling convicted. It doesn’t go away, and I tend not to sleep until I lay that pride down and do the right thing.

Before my husband (who, by the way, is definitely American), my longest relationship was about three months. I was sure I had it all figured out, because after all, isn’t marriage a sappy romance novel all the time? On the rare occasion you have a fight with your husband, you’re still hot for him, right? Many people (and books) raved about the wonders of make up sex after all. There’s never a day when you wonder what possessed you to marry the hairy beast with morning breath, because you know that he’s always sexy to you, and will always react just like the hero in the book. HA!

All that said, we have to remember that because we are all individual people, our emotions and circumstances change frequently, so always believing in the fairy tale (while a wonderful fantasy), is unrealistic. There are definitely times the romance exists, but there are also the times when your toddler is running amuck (amuck, amuck) and screaming his head off because he doesn’t want his diaper changed, and all you want to do is sit down with your “maaaan” and watch a movie, cuddle and drink a glass of wine (or perhaps 2). So, I try at all times to remember my credo to submit to my husband. Since we cannot come to an agreement on who should catch the 2 year old – who is now hanging from the stair banister - and change that stinky diaper, I put my arms around him and let him know that since he is the head of the household, I submit the duty of the poopy to HIM.

The Inevitable Job Hunt

I HATE looking for a job! I mean, I really HATE it. I'd rather have my thumbs cut off than look for a job. Thus begins my story...I started a new job in July, due to the fact that I worked for Satan (that story will be in a later blog) and decided to leave the dark side. I love my new team, have a great relationship with my boss, and I'm given flexible hours, so of course, it can't possibly last. Our entire team found out in August we were being laid off. Ok, no problem, I have several months to find something.

I start the job hunt. I interview with a company 5 times (count 'em folks -- 5 freakin' times). I probably spent 10 hours with these people, not to mention the parking expenses. Two months later (yes, they made me wait that long), they inform me they have hired within. They let me know how much they enjoyed meeting me, and everyone really liked me, and "we wish you every success in your future endeavors"....yeah, yeah...I'll show you future endeavors (insert expletive or something less offensive).

Ok, this is my question. Why the HELL was this company interviewing to begin with, when they're just going to hire within?????? I don't get it. I live in a place where the pay is not up to parr with the living expenses, so when a job comes along that provides you with enough money to eat, you want to jump on it. I was the only one they interviewed, because according to them, they hadn't found anyone with my experience. AARRRGH! I know that I need to take responsibility for my disappointment, because really, I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, but the job really sounded like something I would have liked to do. I would be back in the internet field again and using cutting edge technology.

Now, I'm a believer in "everything happens for a reason". So, I know that I have to chalk this one up to not being the right job for me. But, I still can't help being a bit frustrated. There really should be an etiquette for companies and their interviewing process. I think they should limit the interviewing process to one or two phone interviews, a MAXIMUM of two in-person interviews (meet 4 or 5 people on one day, rather than individual days for each person), and then give you their answer within two weeks.

Phew - ok - I feel better. This blogging business really helps exorcise the demons. I should have kept a diary as a kid!